The Long Awaited, Much Anticipated SCARY BUNNY POLL

The Scary Bunny Poll is HERE!

Amusing, informative, absurdly jam-packed with images, and SCARY
Fill it in, fill it in! Pleeeease?

The Scary Bunny Poll is just a click away…

Scary Bunnies in the Media
Participants: 60

1) Scariest bunny used in an advertising campaign?

• Trix Cereal Rabbit (60s) – 17 (28.3%)
• Energizer Battery Bunny (80s) – 12 (20.0%)
• Cadbury Easter Bunny (80s) – 14 (23.3%)
• Blockbuster Video Bunny “Carl” (90s) – 17 (28.3%)

2) Scariest bunny in a fully animated cartoon?

• Bugs Bunny (1938) – 4 (6.7%)
• Thumper (from ‘Bambi’ – 1942) – 5 (8.3%)
• Black Rabbit of Inle (from ‘Watership Down’ – 1973) – 8 (13.3%)
• General Woundwort (from ‘Watership Down’ – 1973) – 43 (71.7%)

3) Scariest bunny in illustrated literature/graphic novels?

• Lewis Carroll’s ‘White Rabbit’ (1865) – 4 (6.7%)
• Beatrix Potter’s ‘Peter Rabbit’ (1903) – 3 (5.0%)
• A. A. Milne’s ‘Rabbit’ (1926) – 1 (1.7%)
• Margery Williams’ ‘Velveteen Rabbit’ (1958) – 5 (8.3%)
• Deborah & James Howe’s ‘Bunnicula’ (1979) – 16 (26.7%)
• Jhonen Vasquez’s ‘Fillerbunny’ (1997) – 26 (43.3%)
• Andy Riley’s ‘Suicidal Bunnies’ (2003) – 5 (8.3%)

4) Scariest bunny in a (mostly) non-animated production?

• Harvey (from ‘Harvey’ – 1950) – 8 (13.3%)
• Pointy Teeth Rabbit (from ‘Monty Python & the Holy Grail’ – 1975) – 11 (18.3%)
• Large Wooden Rabbit (from ‘Monty Python & the Holy Grail’ – 1975) – 2 (3.3%)
• Roger (from ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’ – 1988) – 0 (0.0%)
• Frank (from ‘Donnie Darko’ – 2001) – 36 (60.0%)
• Anya in Costume (from ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ – 2001) – 3 (5.0%)

5) Check the three bunny features that scare you the most…

• big teeth – 37 (62.7%)
• big ears – 11 (18.6%)
• excessive carrot consumption – 9 (15.3%)
• fluffy tails – 3 (5.1%)
• twitchy little noses – 17 (28.8%)
• excessive vulnerability – 16 (27.1%)
• they live in warrens – 12 (20.3%)
• they often wear waistcoats – 17 (28.8%)
• sometimes they cluck and deliver eggs – 22 (37.3%)
• they keep going and going and going – 26 (44.1%)

More scary bunnies

1. Bun-Bun, from online webcomic Sluggy Freelance
2. The Maxx, from Sam Kieth’s comic of the same name
3. Fluff E, the Hip Hop Bunny from TV’s “The Buzz”
4. Pat the Bunny, from the children’s book by Dorothy Kunhardt
5. Miffy, from the children’s book by Dick Bruna
6. Satanic TV-Watching Pet Bunny from Michele Soavi’s movie “The Sect”
7. Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew, the 1982 DC comic
8. Hoppy, the Marvel Bunny, featured in Fawcett’s Funny Animals 1942
9. Super Rabbit, in Comedy Comics #14, from Timely Comics (later Marvel
10. Robot Rabbit, from Muppet Labs, comes with Bunsen Honeydew figure

Santa Claus Parade of Perversion

So I went to the Santa Claus Parade on Sunday. And I have to say, for a ‘wholesome’ event, attended by thousands of innocent babes and their rosy-cheeked parents, it was rather… disturbing. Maybe my eyes have been clouded by looking through the tough, gritty lens of city life for too long, but here is what I saw:

First, the glowing faces of young adults and happy children.

Immediately followed by what can only be called a whole lot of cock.

Ever since that CSI episode about furries, my vision of people dressed up in full-body animal suits will never be the same. Given that disturbing perspective on the situation, you’ll understand why I was perturbed by the vast number of participants frolicking about, dressed head to toe as dogs, cats, penguins, lobsters, and yes, polar bears.

You already know how I feel about bunnies. There were hundreds of them. HUNDREDS! Blue ones, grey ones, white ones. All fluffy. All frightening.

The most terrifying part of the whole parade… the sleep-deprived walruses.

These monkeys look like they bathed in tartrazine before the show. Even speaking as a lover of Kraft Dinner, and wearer of orange mittens and hat, I find these vibrant orange freaks of nature terrifying.

And the truth comes out. Notice how skunk and owl are ‘fraternizing’? See the subtle exchange of phone numbers. They’ll be ‘grooming’ one another after the parade, you bet. Repulsive.

Santa, you lawbreaking lowlife. What are you teaching the children, running a red light like that? A whole generation of reckless drivers is going to grow up thinking that as long as they’re operating a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer, they are completely above the rules of the road. Newsflash, Mr. Claus: you’re not driving through the arctic tundra of the north pole anymore. Pick up the reins, put away your bottle of Aquavit, and start paying attention to the intersection you’re barreling through. Jerk.

I doubt I’ll ever be able to see another Santa Claus Parade, after this scarring experience. Or rather, that after posting this disturbing entry, that anyone will want to take me there ever again.