More Toronto Film Fest Blathering

I am proud to report that my film picks envelope made it into box #1 this morning, as I did the world’s fastest selection of movies EVER. Unfortunately, this lead to my completely missing the Elgin 6pm screening of Terry Gilliam’s ‘Tideland’, so I suck. The good people at TIFF will be emailing me a confirmation of my selections, and then I find out on Monday, September 5th how many of my first choice and how many second choice I achieved.

I have to say I was a little disappointed in the 2005 registration set-up; last year it was classy, air conditioned, civilized. You walked into the lobby of Sutton Place Hotel, followed the signs to the small, well-appointed ballroom, and then joined the very orderly throng of individuals who were being attended by calm, collected volunteers with computers and a clear system of ticket, program and bag distribution.

This was more of a melee, situated very confusingly at the ass end of the rather large, multi-level Cumberland Terrace shopping mall on Bloor. There were precariously stacked piles of cardboard boxes everywhere, behind a long wooden table at two separate converted storefronts, with lots of – as always – cheerful and helpful, but very sweaty volunteers. No clear line-up in sight, just a loose clump of people standing at the north entrance, holding the doors open to let more heat in, and a few clueless newcomers milling hopefully around the tables, innocently jumping the queue (I think I may have been one of these hapless asses, but at least I had everything ready and my registration took about 30 seconds total).

Before anyone denigrates my choices, please know that I intend to try and see other films at the Festival. Although my picks are absurdly mainstream – why bother going when they’ll be released in theatres in a month anyhow, right? – these are simply the movies I thought I would have extreme difficulty securing tickets to later on, or using the rush line. I doubt I will have as much competition for tickets to, say, the Korean detective-story ‘Duelist’ [Tues. Sept 13th, 9pm, Paramount 2/Thurs. Sept 15th, 10:30am, Paramount 4], as I would for Tim Burton or Dave Chappelle.

Kind of wishing I’d thrown ‘Kiss kiss, Bang bang’ in there, though, given its alluring full-page ad in the program [Thurs. Sept 8th, 9:45pm, Ryerson/Sat. Sept 10th, 10am, Paramount 2]. It has Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer in it; two of my favorite “guilty pleasure” actors. ‘The House of Sand’ looks good, too. And ‘Shopgirl’ with Steve Martin and Clare Danes and Jason Schwartzman [Fri. Sept 9th, 9pm, Visa Screening Elgin Theatre/Sun. Sept 11th, 9:30am, Paramount 1]. Maybe I was a little hasty in my decision-making…

Listing of my five first-choice and two second-choice picks, with dates and times

First Choice:
1. Dave Chappelle’s Block Party, Mon. Sept 12th, 9pm, Visa Screening at Elgin Theatre
2. Brokeback Mountain, Ang Lee, Sat. Sept 10th, 6pm, Visa Screening at Elgin Theatre
3. Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride, Sat. Sept 10th, 9pm, Visa Screening at Elgin Theatre
4. Tristram Shandy, Tue. Sept 13th, 7:15pm, Ryerson
5. Beowulf & Grendel, Wed. Sept 14th, 9pm, Visa Screening at Elgin Theatre

Second Choice:
6. Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit, Sat. Sept 17th, 9:30am, Ryerson
7. 50 Ways of Saying Fabulous, Thurs. Sept 8th, 7pm, Varsity 8

Will Write for Food

Starting to feel a little rejected now. I interviewed for my job — the job I have been performing capably for 12 months — seven days ago, and nobody has said boo to me about it all bloody week. In fact, I think I’m getting the ‘Avoidance Face’ from my manager.

In the words of Cake, I am experiencing “bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse”. Did I say something bad during the interview?

During a moment that I have since erased from my memory, it’s possible that I blurted out “Yeah, I love my job, you know, except for when I have to actually work. Aha! Hah! Ha ha ha (forced laughter trailing off…)” or perhaps “In five years? I see myself dancing on your grave, jackass!” or the classic “Who’s sexy now, whore?” while gesturing at my manager with my still smoking firearm. The trouble is, I just don’t remember. Whole thing’s a blank.

Still, why worry? Unemployment could be fun. Why, even now I’m experimenting with my debt-tolerance. In fact, I’d label myself poverty-curious. This has resulted in a lot of home cooking and rentals from Queen Video. Yesterday it was all-you-can-handle David Lynch night. Twin Peaks followed by Blue Velvet. It kind of made me yearn for the hushed, cadaverless normality of my cubicle, but then I looked at the clock and realized it was 2am. So today I decided not to go into work. That oughta show ‘em! Hire me OR ELSE.

Instead, I choose to use today to rush for tickets at the Film Festival. And maybe get some Mexican food with Ed. And definitely wash all my bedsheets. And help Alastair unpack into his new apartment.

This is MUCH better than earning money. Besides, my audition to read at the CNIB last night went really well, so at the very least I could become a full-time volunteer. Think of the spiritual remuneration.

CHATTY DIARIST WILL WRITE FOR FOOD