Haiku for the Man Next To Me on the Train Who Fell Into a Lake of Aqua Velva<\/u><\/p>\n
I don’t know how bad
\nYou smelled before the cologne
\nBut now you smell worse.<\/p>\n
Seriously, guy:
\nMy nose thinks you’re a man-whore.
\nTry soap and water.<\/p>\n
Haiku for the Woman Walking Upwind of Me on Bay Street Wearing 1.5 Litres of Gucci Rush<\/u><\/p>\n
Sure, it’s expensive
\nBut drowning yourself in it
\nDon’t make you richer.<\/p>\n
Haven’t you heard of
\nModeration in all things?
\nObviously not.<\/p>\n
Haiku for the 18-year-old 9-months Pregnant Woman Smoking in Nathan Phillips Square<\/u><\/p>\n
Oh my dear sweet God…
\nIs Wayne Brady going to have
\nTo slap a bitch?<\/p>\n
Take that bullshit out
\nOf your damn mouth this minute —
\nYour baby hates you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Haiku for the Man Next To Me on the Train Who Fell Into a Lake of Aqua Velva I don’t know how bad You smelled before the cologne But now you smell worse. Seriously, guy: My nose thinks you’re a man-whore. Try soap and water. Haiku for the Woman Walking Upwind of Me on Bay […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1270","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-consciousness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1270"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1270"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1270\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1270"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1270"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1270"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}