First, a happy birthday wish to Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery, The Angriest Cat On Earth. Happy thirteenth, buddy. Please stop trying to mangle my left ankle when I walk into the bathroom on a morning: scar tissue is starting to form above my talus. You’re a rotten bastard, but I’ll hug you when I get home anyway. Kisses.<\/p>\n
Next, I’m going to try to keep a montly tally of books read. Here’s January:
\n1. Stuart McLean – Stories from the Vinyl Cafe
\n2. Stuart McLean – Vinyl Cafe Unplugged
\n3. Stuart McLean – Secrets From the Vinyl Cafe
\n4. Miriam Toews – A Complicated Kindness
\n5. Kazuo Ishiguro – When We Were Orphans
\n6. David Rose – They Call Me Naughty Lola
\n7. Robert C. O’Brien – Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH
\n8. Diane Setterfield – The Thirteenth Tale (1\/2 done)
\n9. Guy Gavriel Kay – Tigana (1\/2 done)<\/p>\n
Lastly, I’d like to talk about my new circus trick “the disappearing rack act”. I recognize that a side-effect of training for distance running is weight loss, and I’m okay with that. I like my curves, but muscle tone will replace lost emphasis in the derri\u00c3\u00a8re and mammaries, and that’s fine. What is *not* fine is that I spent $150 on sports bras only two months ago, and now those sports bras are useless. “Loosey goosey” doesn’t begin to describe the fierce jiggly bouncing action that happens when I get up to a good 6-minute mile pace. I am seriously going to lose an eye. Sports bras are too expensive to replace again if I go down another cup size (is it petty of me not to want to get smaller than a B?) and my breasts are always the first area where fat disappears on my body and, well, it sucks. <\/p>\n
To add insult to injury, I’m also suffering from a previously unheard-of titty breakout. For reals. Thanks to good genes and my zero tanning policy, my chest is home to some of the creamiest, smoothest woman-flesh this side of God’s green pastures in the sky. But I guess all the friction and sweat when I’m running has been aggravating the skin between my sweater puppets because it’s red and bumpy and I hate it! At twenty-nine, I consider cleavage acne UNACCEPTABLE. I rage against the machine that has brought me to this impasse: ever-decreasing waistline and improved cardiovascular health, or umblemished boobs? Choose wisely, young grasshopper. Sigh. I choose running. Stupid, sweaty running.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
First, a happy birthday wish to Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery, The Angriest Cat On Earth. Happy thirteenth, buddy. Please stop trying to mangle my left ankle when I walk into the bathroom on a morning: scar tissue is starting to form above my talus. You’re a rotten bastard, but I’ll hug you when I get […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-consciousness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1383"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1383\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}