{"id":1476,"date":"2003-09-03T14:32:00","date_gmt":"2003-09-03T18:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/?p=1476"},"modified":"2009-05-24T13:44:41","modified_gmt":"2009-05-24T17:44:41","slug":"sauron-rasta-voldemort-republican","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/archives\/1476","title":{"rendered":"Sauron = Rasta? Voldemort = Republican!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today’s amusing webcomic: GOATS!<\/a><\/p>\n

So I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve spent the past few days in obsessive-compulsive bliss. Wading through the bottomless pile of comics I bought at the convention. Eating whatever delicious meals my live-in chef, Ed, decides to entice me with. And cleaning. So. Much. Cleaning. Cleaning in anticipation of my roommate coming home from Cancun, my other roommate revamping the kitchen, and the arrival of a sick foster cat from the Humane Society.<\/p>\n

At first it was just sweeping the steps. Then mopping seemed like a good idea. A few hours later, Ed strolled by, cocked his head over the railing and almost passed out from the fumes. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d cracked open a can of Circa 1880, grabbed a bag of steel wool and a power sander, and started to have a go at stripping the nine layers of cracked oil paint befouling my stairwell. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know what came over me, but I think I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to place some of the blame on Bob Vila, Debbie Travis, and my mother\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s addiction to HGTV.<\/p>\n

The new cat, Wesley, is terribly, terribly skinny. I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to be picky, so I just asked them to give me the animal most immediately in need of a foster home. They gave me a young female, post-surgery, who has clearly been on the street, making a living as a punching bag for other cats. Her tail\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been broken in at least four places and she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s got a really bad-ass necklace of scars and lacerations behind her ears. Unfortunately, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve started sneezing a lot lately, and I think Wes may be the culprit. Also, she shows her love by sleeping on my head. Harrumph.<\/p>\n

Speaking of skinny creatures: during a slothful Monday viewing of the Two Towers, my friends and I indulged in some casual running commentary about Gollum being recruited as a poster-child for why the Atkins diet is just so damn effective. This has resulted in me giving some serious consideration to reducing my protein intake. We then segued into a really bizarre speculation about whether or not Sauron is a chronic pot smoker. Some good arguments were made on the evidence of his seriously bloodshot eye, unfortunate paranoia, and clear case of the munchies, but personally I think he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be a lot more laid back about trying to conquer Middle Earth if he were sweet on the mary jane. Yeah, yeah, I know. Mystery Science Theatre, we ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t.<\/p>\n

As a completely unrelated aside, I must once again express my intense dislike of Rebecca Eckler and her woefully ignorant, badly written, sorry-assed columns. Yesterday, she waxed not at all poetically about the Toronto Science Fiction Convention. Why her editor thought to give her this assignment, I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fathom. Her vapid, too-cool-for-school nature aside, she has no knowledge whatsoever of science fiction culture, and no desire to learn. She can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even mock them in a biting, caustic fashion. Given my own personal celebrity wrestling match, she would be top of my dream opponent list. Maybe not while pregnant, since she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have a weight advantage, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have to pull my punches on account of baby, but post-partum \u00e2\u20ac\u201c it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s on like Donkey Kong, beotch.<\/p>\n

FYI, for those of you that are fence sitting about going to see \u00e2\u20ac\u0153American Wedding,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d take the plunge. I went this weekend with Darren and almost ruptured something during Stiffler\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gay bar dance-off scene \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Seann William Scott is worth the price of admission.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today’s amusing webcomic: GOATS! So I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve spent the past few days in obsessive-compulsive bliss. Wading through the bottomless pile of comics I bought at the convention. Eating whatever delicious meals my live-in chef, Ed, decides to entice me with. And cleaning. So. Much. Cleaning. Cleaning in anticipation of my roommate coming home from Cancun, my […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[738,733,730,17,32,740,737,30,229,732,731,246,735,736,734,739,177,727],"class_list":["post-1476","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wishful-thinking","tag-american-wedding","tag-atkins-diet","tag-cleaning","tag-comics","tag-convention","tag-darren-anderson","tag-donkey-kong","tag-edwud","tag-goats","tag-gollum","tag-hgtv","tag-movies","tag-mst3k","tag-rebecca-eckler","tag-sauron","tag-stiffler","tag-webcomics","tag-wesley"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1476"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1476"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1476\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1477,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1476\/revisions\/1477"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1476"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1476"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1476"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}