{"id":402,"date":"2003-11-22T21:28:40","date_gmt":"2003-11-23T01:28:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/?page_id=402"},"modified":"2012-03-08T10:40:25","modified_gmt":"2012-03-08T15:40:25","slug":"firefly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/archives\/402","title":{"rendered":"Firefly: Why, oh Why?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Firefly: Why, oh Why? – A Plea in Eighteen Haikus<\/strong>
\nNovember 22, 2003<\/em><\/p>\n

I am too angry at the utterly premature cancellation of Joss Whedon’s space western, Firefly, to properly express my feelings in a conventional format. <\/p>\n

Instead, I choose to channel my impotent rage at the Evil Fox Empire through the calming construct of haiku. <\/p>\n

I sincerely hope that the network executives who cut this televised masterpiece have their coffee-brewing lackeys scanning the ‘Net for mentions of the show, so they can see how angry the legions of fans are at its cancellation. <\/p>\n

I also hope (quite vainly) that one of said java lackeys happens upon this review and insists that their evil corporate master takes some time to read it. <\/p>\n

Lastly, I hope that said evil corporate whip-wielder, upon reading this article, mulls over the obviously unpopular choice they have made, and takes some time to reconsider their foolhardy and hurtful actions. <\/p>\n

Riding the space range
\nWhere no man has gone before
\nAn old trope made new<\/p>\n

Fox you cheap bastards
\nMoney isn’t everything –
\nFirefly was gold!<\/p>\n

Ratings grow with time
\nNothing happens overnight
\nWhere is your patience?<\/p>\n

Please reconsider!
\nYou aired them out of order
\nPeople got confused<\/p>\n

Pilot episode
\nSerenity, introduced
\nThe cast and story<\/p>\n

But you showed it last
\nDemented corporate scum
\nDon’t mess with Whedon!<\/p>\n

Cancelled. Gorramit!
\nI will eulogize the crew
\nMay they rest in peace…<\/p>\n

The menfolk – cowboys –
\nLead a vigilante life
\nAlways on the run<\/p>\n

Buck Rogers, John Wayne,
\nMediated by Steinem:
\nStrong chicks rule the cast<\/p>\n

Nathan Fillion,
\nMy fellow Canadian –
\nPrime Alberta beef<\/p>\n

Wash plays with T-Rex
\nUnaware how ironic:
\nHe, too, is extinct<\/p>\n

Zoe’s swinging fist –
\nHarsh poetry in motion
\nWarrior woman<\/p>\n

Jayne wears silly hats
\nAnd succumbs to villainy;
\nLoves Vera, his gun<\/p>\n

Who is Shepherd Book?
\nTraitor? Spy? Thief? Alliance?
\nAin’t no man of God<\/p>\n

River went to school,
\nBlue-handed men messed her up:
\nWill Simon fix her?<\/p>\n

Kaylee has mad skillz
\nFixin’ engines and the like.
\nDoctor Tam – wake up!<\/p>\n

Inara Serra:
\nCompanion (Don’t call her whore!)
\nYearns for Captain Mal<\/p>\n

A final note to fans and those who are curious about the show. The box set of Season One is due for release December 9th, 2003 and can be advance ordered on Amazon.ca for about fifty bucks Canadian. It’s worth every penny, I promise you.<\/p>\n

Buy the DVD!
\nNothing speaks louder than your
\nPurchasing power<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Firefly: Why, oh Why? – A Plea in Eighteen Haikus November 22, 2003 I am too angry at the utterly premature cancellation of Joss Whedon’s space western, Firefly, to properly express my feelings in a conventional format. Instead, I choose to channel my impotent rage at the Evil Fox Empire through the calming construct of […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1395,1397,53,1396,1388],"class_list":["post-402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-consciousness","tag-firefly","tag-fox","tag-haiku","tag-plea","tag-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=402"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2612,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402\/revisions\/2612"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}