{"id":485,"date":"2003-11-04T10:44:00","date_gmt":"2003-11-04T14:44:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/archives\/485"},"modified":"2003-11-04T10:44:00","modified_gmt":"2003-11-04T14:44:00","slug":"wax-on-wax-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/archives\/485","title":{"rendered":"Wax On, Wax Off"},"content":{"rendered":"

Boy, just when I thought *I* had trouble, what with my pending dental appointment (3 1\/2 hours to drill o’clock; not that I’m counting down)…<\/p>\n

My friend Amy just informed me that Ralph Macchio aka The Karate Kid, is turning 42 today. Happy birthday, Ralph. Drink a couple of cold ones for me, there, killer. Sorry about your total failure to achieve lasting stardom. <\/p>\n

Did you know that as well as the 1986 and 1989 sequels to the Karate Kid, this guy was in “Secret of Nimh 2: Timmy to the Rescue”? I shit you not. <\/p>\n

To be fair, he probably finds a great deal of fulfillment in his children, Julia and Daniel, who have probably been trained in the best karate dojos on Long Island, to the point that they can probably kill children at the playground who make fun of Daddy’s wobbly crane pose and ugly headband with a single, well-placed chop to the throat. Probably.<\/p>\n

Besides which, it would appear that time has completely stopped for Mr. Macchio’s face. It seems likely that he has a portrait of himself that looks like hell hidden in his attic somewhere. Or maybe he’s just a huge fan of the deep chemical peels. Decide for yourself:<\/p>\n

Ralph circa 1984
<\/p>\n

Ralph circa 2003
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Boy, just when I thought *I* had trouble, what with my pending dental appointment (3 1\/2 hours to drill o’clock; not that I’m counting down)… My friend Amy just informed me that Ralph Macchio aka The Karate Kid, is turning 42 today. Happy birthday, Ralph. Drink a couple of cold ones for me, there, killer. […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-485","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-consciousness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/485"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=485"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/485\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=485"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=485"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=485"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}