So I went home to see Mum and Dad last night, and ended up staying over in Oakville; the first time I’ve attempted this terrifying feat of pre-dawn public transit-riding since beginning my job at the government over a year ago. I had to wake up at 5am and get my hustle on to catch the 5:30am train departing for Union station to get here before 6:30am.<\/p>\n
Now, I have some pretty amazing early morning skillz, developed over the course of the 18 months I’ve been doing this job. At 5am, I am capable of retaining my tenuous hold on consciousness; managing some basic motor functions; and expressing myself with a rudimentary use of the English language, not unlike that of a highly trained parrot. <\/p>\n
My mother, on the other hand, can apparently wake up without the aid of an alarm (because “watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss”<\/a>), efficiently make tea and toast for the both of us, pack my laundry, assemble a nutritious mid-morning snack and slip it in my backpack, and drive a motor vehicle to get me to the station on time. Once again, Moira the Greater’s expertise leaves me eating her matriarchal dust. Soon I will begin speaking to her only in Stewie quotes from The Family Guy<\/a>. As a consolation prize for being half the woman she is, Mum has gifted me with some beautiful new knit goods and a stylish black shirt that I’m wearing today. Thanks, Mum!<\/p>\n Enough of this idle chatter. To the news summary! Ho!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So I went home to see Mum and Dad last night, and ended up staying over in Oakville; the first time I’ve attempted this terrifying feat of pre-dawn public transit-riding since beginning my job at the government over a year ago. I had to wake up at 5am and get my hustle on to catch […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-652","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-consciousness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/652"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=652"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/652\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=652"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=652"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=652"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}