I must warn the world. I must warn you all.<\/p>\n
NEVER eat Campbell’s Chunky Beef Rib Roast soup.<\/p>\n
Justin just let out the most noxious butt-gas of all time (and believe me, as a lactard – a lactose intolerant person who indiscriminately consumes dairy products without taking Lactaid first – I should know). It was just a little TOO reminiscent of the meal he’d just eaten. Mmmm… beefy.<\/p>\n
I believe that during the confusing after-moments, while gasping for fresh, unpolluted air, the words “Please don’t stop loving me” came out of his mouth. <\/p>\n
Oh God, the horror. <\/p>\n
Save yourselves.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I must warn the world. I must warn you all. NEVER eat Campbell’s Chunky Beef Rib Roast soup. Justin just let out the most noxious butt-gas of all time (and believe me, as a lactard – a lactose intolerant person who indiscriminately consumes dairy products without taking Lactaid first – I should know). It was […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-consciousness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/874"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=874"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/874\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}