Dear Building Management:<\/p>\n
Thank you for making the dream that was \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Day After Tomorrow\u00e2\u20ac\u009d a reality. At any moment, I expect arctic wolves to come loping ravenously into my cubicle, searching for the tasty snack that is my frozen corpse.<\/p>\n
Perhaps I complained too readily of the warmth that is now but a vague memory to my icy flesh. While I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t recall specifically asking to be relocated to Siberia, I suppose I forgot to account for the extreme prejudice inherent in your spiteful, spiteful natures. <\/p>\n
I have goosebumps the size of actual, live geese on my forearms, you bitchez. <\/p>\n
It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a good thing I cut down those cubicles to create shade back when this office was heatstroke central: now I can utilize them as kindling for fire. Hopefully the crackling blaze that results will stave off the hypothermia in a way that my 100% polyester dry-clean-only blazer cannot.<\/p>\n
Learn to use air conditioning with restraint. Learn sympathy. Learn consideration. Learn about temperate climates, you ignorant cro-magnon fools.<\/p>\n
Sincere wishes for the leprous decay of your genitalia,
\nPolar Office Worker #2457<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Building Management: Thank you for making the dream that was \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Day After Tomorrow\u00e2\u20ac\u009d a reality. At any moment, I expect arctic wolves to come loping ravenously into my cubicle, searching for the tasty snack that is my frozen corpse. Perhaps I complained too readily of the warmth that is now but a vague […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-consciousness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/916"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=916"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/916\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=916"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=916"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pipesdreams.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=916"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}