Firefly: Why, oh Why?

Firefly: Why, oh Why? – A Plea in Eighteen Haikus
November 22, 2003

I am too angry at the utterly premature cancellation of Joss Whedon’s space western, Firefly, to properly express my feelings in a conventional format.

Instead, I choose to channel my impotent rage at the Evil Fox Empire through the calming construct of haiku.

I sincerely hope that the network executives who cut this televised masterpiece have their coffee-brewing lackeys scanning the ‘Net for mentions of the show, so they can see how angry the legions of fans are at its cancellation.

I also hope (quite vainly) that one of said java lackeys happens upon this review and insists that their evil corporate master takes some time to read it.

Lastly, I hope that said evil corporate whip-wielder, upon reading this article, mulls over the obviously unpopular choice they have made, and takes some time to reconsider their foolhardy and hurtful actions.

Riding the space range
Where no man has gone before
An old trope made new

Fox you cheap bastards
Money isn’t everything –
Firefly was gold!

Ratings grow with time
Nothing happens overnight
Where is your patience?

Please reconsider!
You aired them out of order
People got confused

Pilot episode
Serenity, introduced
The cast and story

But you showed it last
Demented corporate scum
Don’t mess with Whedon!

Cancelled. Gorramit!
I will eulogize the crew
May they rest in peace…

The menfolk – cowboys –
Lead a vigilante life
Always on the run

Buck Rogers, John Wayne,
Mediated by Steinem:
Strong chicks rule the cast

Nathan Fillion,
My fellow Canadian –
Prime Alberta beef

Wash plays with T-Rex
Unaware how ironic:
He, too, is extinct

Zoe’s swinging fist –
Harsh poetry in motion
Warrior woman

Jayne wears silly hats
And succumbs to villainy;
Loves Vera, his gun

Who is Shepherd Book?
Traitor? Spy? Thief? Alliance?
Ain’t no man of God

River went to school,
Blue-handed men messed her up:
Will Simon fix her?

Kaylee has mad skillz
Fixin’ engines and the like.
Doctor Tam – wake up!

Inara Serra:
Companion (Don’t call her whore!)
Yearns for Captain Mal

A final note to fans and those who are curious about the show. The box set of Season One is due for release December 9th, 2003 and can be advance ordered on Amazon.ca for about fifty bucks Canadian. It’s worth every penny, I promise you.

Buy the DVD!
Nothing speaks louder than your
Purchasing power

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