Ah, so THIS is why people are fat…

Damn! I am trying to arrange for transport in B.C. during my visit to Victoria for ‘s wedding, and the results have been somewhat depressing.

My Mom’s first instinct was to rent a car to haul everyone around for the week. I did some research into this and found that if you take the $15 Akal shuttlebus from the airport, and then rent from Enterprise Car Rentals downtown, (thereby avoiding the $25 airport concession fee it costs $180 before tax, or $215.38 after taxes to rent an economy car which seats 4 people for one week.

My thought was that driving in an unfamiliar place is stressful and I also don’t need the added guilt of killing the environment, plus I’d like to do something towards combating the billions of calories that will likely be ingested by me during my cousin’s nuptials, so: why not rent bicycles? What a great idea! Except, whoa, hold on, renting two bicycles, one for myself and one for JVL is potentially MORE EXPENSIVE THAN RENTING A CAR. How ridiculous is that? I can buy a nice, brand new mountain bike for $200 at Canadian Tire. A brand new $200 car? Not so easy to find. So where is this overinflated bicycle-rental market coming from?

At CycleBC, you can rent a Norco Pinnacle for $75/week, a Norco Carrera for $99/week, a Norco Charger for $119/week, or a Norco Volante/Rampage/Sasquatch for $159/week, or the creme de la creme, a Norco VPS Atomic for $239/week!!!!WTF?!!one! That’s right, one bicycle, which seats one person, can potentially cost $60 more to rent for a week (before taxes) than a car which holds 4 people and can be used in torrential rain, which is frankly, a concern when one is traveling to British Columbia. Absurd. Sports Rent BC is no better, with bicycle rental rates ranging from $79-145/week.

Option A – cave, submit to my Mother’s will, and rent a car.

Option B – persuade that the two of us would “look cool” riding a tandem bike (since the cost averages to $73/person for one week… marginally cheaper than renting two shitty mountain bikes.

Option C – which I am honestly giving some thought to, is to simply BUY a gorram bike from CycleBC, which would probably cost me less in the long run. I could pick up two used Norco Pinnacles for $95 each, then either sell them for $50-60 for the pair (at which point it would be cheaper than renting), or else ship them home and have extra bikes in Toronto.

Option D – “walk”, aka sit around the house all day, wishing I had a bike or a car

Give your opinion in my Victoria transport poll!

10 thoughts on “Ah, so THIS is why people are fat…

  1. Have you forgotten that Victoria has a decent transit service? And those long gangly things below your waist are called ‘legs’. Only if you’re planning serious drives to sannich or duncan should you bother with a car. And may i remind you that if all else fails, biking is not a bad or unhealth option?

  2. You’re going to need a car to get out to the wedding anyway – even if you could bike it, I doubt your mom and your aunt could. Personally, I would rent one car between the 4 of you. With the cost of a daily car rental often hovering around $50, getting the week for $180 is a good deal. So you’ll have the car if you need it, and there are definate uses for it, if you want to go to Sooke, or Shawnigan Lake, or somewhere else.. But any other time, you can walk or take transit, and save on your gas money, and get some air.

  3. I was going to suggest finding a cheap rental just for the wedding day, and enjoy fine public transit for the rest.


    You could just drive all the way there, y’know. Road trip!

  4. Ah, but you see, my intrepid Auntie and Mummy have foiled their own major argument for the car, by renting a limousine to take us to and from the wedding. So you see, aside from transit to and from the airport (and again, $15 shuttle, hello), there is NO REASON for us to get a car. Esquimalt just isn’t that damn far from downtown Vic.

    Yeah, we’re in Esquimalt. Somewhere on Maitland Street, past West Vic Park.

  5. That’s pretty funny, actually. The whole limo thing. Not only did they foil the principle reason for needinga car, but they’re getting to the wedding in more style than the groom and best man. I think we may be hitch-hiking..

    Just take transit and walk, you’ll be fine 🙂

  6. This is clearly a golden business opportunity. Get in there and undercut the competition!

  7. The solution is to go to a pawnshop in vancouver, buy some functional little bike that got stolen off some kid’s lawn for under $100 (make them give you an hour to get a mechanic to once-over it before you commit) and sell it back to the shop for half of what you paid for it two weeks later. Or check the classifieds.

    Alternatively, you could look at shipping your existing bikes out there on the train, but I have no idea how expensive that is. At least bring your bike locks from TO so you don’t have to pay for those too.

  8. God bless you for importing the word “gorram” into the English language on earth-that-was (or, more properly, earth-that-still-is,-for-now-anyway).

    Speaking of which, Amy & I managed to get her Mom and stepfather hooked on Firefly this weekend. We were sure the cause was sunk when they asked, “what’s it about?” and I thoughtlessly replied, “it’s a space western.” Despite the rolled eyes, they were hooked within two episodes.

    Miss you!

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