There is going to be a whole lot of Canada’s Next Top Model recap and review later on today.
But first, a few news items:
1. For those of you who want more titty milk in your lives, head on down to the Ontario College of Art and Design today, where you can get a taste of some nice, pasteurized breast juice at an exhibit called ‘Five Holes’ (seriously) thanks to Toronto performance artist (and single lesbian mother of a one-year old daughter), Jess Dobkin. Caution: if you do attend this exhibit, remember that not only does breast milk take on the flavour of whatever the woman is eating –and these are free-range mothers– it can also carry her diseases, including HIV. Be forewarned. I wish I was kidding about the boob beverage bar, but I assure you I’m not — it’s happening at OCAD this evening from 5-8pm. Check out page 8 of today’s Metro if you don’t believe me. All I could think of when I read about it was Dave Chappelle’s P. Diddy sketch where Puffy is hosting “Making the Band” and demands that, unless the contestants get him some breast milk from a Cambodian immigrant, he’s going to shut down the studio. “That’s one hundred percent Cambodian, dawg.” – P. Diddy
2. The Taste of Thailand festival will be in Nathan Phillips Square this weekend, Saturday 10am-9pm, Sunday 10am-8pm. Unlike the previously mentioned milk bar event, this two-day gourmet Thai feast sounds freaking delicious. I think my favorite part of the festival is their media tagline for this year, EXPERIENCE THAINESS TO THE WORLD! It’s free admission, the Siam Symphony Orchestra is playing and their program includes a slot for “Siamese Cats” at 4:30pm and again at 7pm on Saturday. My imagination is insufficient to conjure up even the slightest hint of how the good people of Thailand anticipate they can keep a massive audience of thousands entertained with a bunch of inbred felines. Don’t get me wrong: I like siamese cats, and my mother currently owns one (or vice versa). But on stage? In a noisy, crowded, outdoor venue? Maybe they’ll have caterwauling and mauling demonstrations. I really can’t say, but I am curious to know. On Sunday they conclude with a tribute to the 60th Anniversary of the Kingâ€™s Accession to the Throne, which should be pretty rad. Frankly, my vision of Thailand needs some resuscitation after I watched ‘Brokedown Palace’ on CityTV with Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale last night. I appreciate the whole war on drugs, but I did not need to see a woman pass out in the dirt because a cockroach burrowed into her ear during her stay in jail. N-A-S-T-Y.
3. Happy birthday wishes go out today to Captain Picard/Professor X aka Patrick Stewart, who is turning 66, and Han Solo/Indiana Jones aka Harrison Ford who is turning 64.
4. I bought skirts today. Three of them. And without one panic attack! I’m on a shopping roll.
Coming soon (in a few hours, when I’ve collected my thoughts on Brandi leaving), what you’ve all been waiting for… the CANADA’S NEXT TOP MODEL REVIEW.